Loophole
by Meganfitz
Summary: When the men discover an alarming trend,sex death, they have a new reason to leave the island. They even seek help from the Other's in order to do it. Fluffy and funny. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: they aren't mine, all just in good fun.

Author's Note: I wrote this LOING before the season finale, so keep that in mind. My favorite character is the Leader of the Others. He has my ALL time favorite line. This will be a short story, only two chapters. Chapter two will be up on Monday and you will learn more details about the loophole. Enjoy! Feedback is like my lifeblood.

Chapter 1: An Alarming Trend.

* * *

"Hmm, well that's an alarming trend." Sawyer muttered as he looked at Sayid who was pushing his hair out of his face.

"Very alarming." Sayid responded.

"No, sir, I don't like it."

"Me either, I think we need to collect more data." Sayid sighed knowing full well what sort of conversations this would lead to.

Sawyer rounded up the men on the far side of the beach and walked with them to the caves. Sayid found Jack and Locke in the hatch. Locke questioned him about the button but Sayid informed Locke "This is far more important." However since this conversation wouldn't effect Mr. Eko, he was sent to push the button.

Sawyer sighed as he milled around the cave, trying to figure out the right wording for his announcement.

Hurley, his eyes vacant, as they had been since Libby passed away, leaned along the cave's walls. Charlie, watching his friend leaned, on the other side.

"What's this about?" Jack questioned rather impatiently.

Sawyer paced, "We've discovered a trend."

"Its quite alarming." Sayid added. Questioning eyes followed the pacing men.

"Sex equals death on this crappy ass island." Sawyer announced.

Mummers of disbelief and mockery echoed in the caves. Sayid solemnly added, "We can not confirm this until we get farther data."

Locke offered, "It can't be true, Jin and Sun they…"

"They're married, so is Rose and Bernard. So they don't count. My theory is "if you met on the island and start to bump uglies, the chick dies." Look, I had sex with Anna Lucia and a few hours later she's dead."

"Maybe its you, maybe you've got a poison dick." Charlie smirked.

"See I thought that too, at first." Sawyer's eye wildly flashed around. Much to everyone's surprise he admitted his own personal fears and theories. "But the same thing happened to Sayid and Shannon. Look, I know Libby died, but maybe she hooked up with someone."

"So what, you want to know all of our sexually activity while being on the island?" Locke nearly laughed at the prospect. The other men then thought Sawyer and Sayid couldn't possibly take this claim seriously, it was too outlandish. The men started to mutter to themselves, but slowly as they recounted the events of the last few months, they began to change their minds.

Strange things did happen in this island.

They _did_ all survive a plane crash and land on a freaky island with polar bears, a crazy French lady, super intelligent boars and a monster. Oh, and that hatch is pretty creepy. And no one mentioned the island's mysterious healing properties.

A voice from the back of the cave called out, "I don't know if this relates, but I slept with Joanne the night before she drowned." Steve kicked the rock in front of him.

Eyes shifted from man to man in the cave. Reality was slowly setting in.

"I hooked up with Karen and the next day she broke her foot." The frozen yogurt guy announced.

"To what extent?"

"Huh?"

"To what extent did you two hook up?" Sawyer's eyes grew wide. The other man made a hand gesture to indicate the activities.

"She broke her foot over a handy?" Charlie yelled. Suddenly things were getting a little too real for the other men. "Hell, I would rather go blind than let something happen to one of these woman." He didn't need to say which woman, everyone knew.

"Jack, what exactly happened with you and Kate when 'got caught in the net'?" Sawyer questioned.

"It isn't a euphemism, we really did get caught in a net." Jack rolled his eyes.

Hurley looked up, tears in his eyes, "Did anyone hook up with Libby? Was it only me? Did I kill her?"

"No." Jack said firmly, "No, none of this is real. It's just Sawyer being an asshole."

Locke coughed, "normally I would agree with that assessment, but Sayid seems to believe in this theory too, and he's a pretty stable guy."

Sayid crossed the cave, "Thank you, John." He placed his hand on Charlie's shoulder, "You are the only one who does not seem to fit into the equation, and I need to ask you a question of a personal nature." One eyebrow rose on Charlie's face, "Did you ever have relations with Claire?"

Charlie laughed, partial bitterly, partially sadly, "Claire, the woman who isn't speaking to me, the woman who just gave birth a few weeks ago? That Claire?"

Sayid still rather serious stated, "Yes, Charlie that Claire. We know you two were close, you moved into her tent, did you have sex with her?"

"NO! SHE JUST HAD A BABY! God, what if I hurt her? What the hell is a matter with you?" Charlie pushed Sayid's hand off his shoulder and walked away. He couldn't bear to make eye contact with anyone else, his own emotions too raw for the moment.

But there it was, Claire the only other woman on the island who had taken to sleeping, quite literary, with a man who wasn't her husband, remained safe from the island's wrath.

Hurley was still in his own self induced shame and guilt when a new thought popped into his mind. He cleared his throat, "I think Libby wanted to have sex, does that mean anything?"

The cave was silent.

This meant sexual thought could end a woman's life. Suddenly, the air was thick and a new conclusion entered their collective minds.

Jack uttered the words on everyone's minds, "Does this mean we can't have sex at all on this island?"

"With a woman," Locke clarified.

Eyes shifted uncomfortably around the cave. Sawyer threw up his hands, "Oh no, let's all make a pact **now** that we have to be on this crappy ass island for a few years before we go down _THAT_ path."

The men agreed.

"Is there any one who's a drain on the society, any one we want to see killed?" Sawyer asked hopefully.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Aside from you? And for some reason, you just won't die!"

"I'm going to go talk to Danielle," Sayid started to head out of the cave.

"Good idea, no one likes her anyway!" Sawyer pumped his fist in the air as if the problem had been solved.

"I think he's going to ask her if she's seen a similar problem on her side of the island." Locke offered.

Jack shook his head, "No, she won't do. We need to talk to people who have been here for a long time, who know and understand this island for what it is. We need to talk to the Others."

"The Others? You're kidding right? You wanted to build a freakin' army against them and now you want to walk up to them and ask, "Hey, have you noticed that women tend to die after sex." But asking them for help on SURVIVING on this hell hole isn't too much?" Sawyer nearly spit.

"This is different, this isn't a matter of surviving; this is sex. A lifetime without SEX!" Jack yelled.

Sawyer thought it over. "I'll come with you."

"Ask them about the polar bears!" Hurley called after them he was still a little in awe that no one had every thought to ask them about the bear.

Charlie remained very still for a while; his mind was busy running through various options. He walked out of the cave shortly after Jack and Sawyer, "I'm going to build a raft."

* * *

Charlie was able to salvage most of the lumber from the church and use to start building Raft number 3. It had been two days of work by the time Jack and Sawyer returned from meeting with the Others.

"There's a loophole." Jack announced to the men, who immediately stopped what they were doing and turned all their attention to the doctor. Jack explained the catch to the men, which made most of them frown. "They way I see it, it only applies to one person here." All eyes shifted towards Charlie.

Charlie rubbed his arms and looked out to the ocean, "Sorry, it doesn't apply to me either."

Locke furrowed his eyebrows, "Are you sure?"

Charlie swallowed his bitterness and anger away, "maybe it might, but it's still not worth the risk." He went back and started to chop more wood for the raft.

Sadly, the other men agreed and continued to work on the raft.

* * *

It was three days later that Claire approached Charlie at the raft. Hurley wanted to know what everyone's favorite John Cusack movie was.

"Gross Point Blank" Sawyer called out as he hammered a log.

Jack's favorite was "High Fidelity" and Hurley admitted "Say Anything" was his and that Sayid HAD to see the movie.

Charlie was about to give his answer when Claire called his name. "Whacha doing?"

Charlie looked at the raft behind him and pointed to it, "Building a raft?" He answered, he thought it was obvious and her question might had been a trick.

Her face was hard to read, because in truth she wasn't sure how she felt about the subject. True, she wanted to get off this island as much as anyone else, but she was uneasy about the men's motivation. "Does this have anything to do with the rumor going around that sex equals death here?"

Charlie's face flushed slightly but he didn't answer.

"Isn't it a little insulting that you didn't help with the raft the first time, but now that there is a prospect of no sex, you decided that NOW's to time to get off."

Jack piped in, "We're refraining from using the term; "get off" the island, for obvious reasons, Claire."

She blinked her disgust in Jack's direction. Charlie answered Claire's question as light heartedly as possible. "Well, I figure if I can't have sex, one day Aaron might want to. See, I'm a big picture sort of guy."

Her eyes narrowed, the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them, and "Oh, because I thought you were doing this so I would be indebted to you."

Her words were daggers, which sliced his heart and soul in half. The other men were frozen in time, watching the drama unfold. Charlie's pupils became as tiny as a pinprick. His voice was scratched with razors. "Do you honestly believe that everything I do on this island is centered around you? " Claire looked away; she couldn't stand to see the venom on Charlie's face. "I hate to break it to you, but I'm a very selfish man and I am only looking out for myself. Not ONCE did I ever indicate, allude to or give an inking that I want sort of physical relationship from you, did I?" He moved his chest and invaded her space. His body was centimeters from hers, the air he exhaled, filled her lungs and an invisible string held their bodies apart. "I swear to God, if we get off this island and you never touch me, I would be fine with that. 'Indebted'" He repeated with disgust. He turned his back to her and called out to the other men, continuing their previous conversation, "Better off Dead."

While the men agreed that "Better off Dead" is one of John Cusacks best movies, they couldn't help but think Charlie announced that more for his current mood then for the quality of the movie.

* * *

The raft was coming along nicely. It was all framed and once Jin joined the bandwagon, things started to move faster. Once Sawyer pantomimed the "alarming trend", Jin grabbed his tool and started to lead the building processes. But all work stopped when two strangers walked onto the beach.

Jack recognized one of the men as the bearded one who kidnapped Kate, Mr. Friendly The other man was slightly older, and walked ahead of tMr. Friendly. He was clearly the leader.

The leader called out, "Hi!" waved and trudged towards the men building the raft.

Jack, assessing the situation, could not think of a time in history when an attack started off with such a jolly introduction. "Um, hi?" Jack called back, but kept his hand on his gun.

The leader spoke, "I hear you discovered an "alarming trend." Sorry, we didn't come around and introduce ourselves sooner, but I've been working on a million piece puzzle for the past ten years and I was so close to finishing when you guys landed, I just got caught up." The leader apologized, laughing at his own folly, but quickly became serious, "I don't want to alarm you, but there are other people on the island." He stated slowly, as to not frighten the men.

Everyone stared at the stranger blankly. It was Sawyer who broke the silence, "You're kidding? This is a joke, right?"

The leader shook his head, "No, I'm serious. " He wave his arm in the other direction, "there is a whole other society living on the other side of the island."

"Um yeah, we figured that out already." Sayid stated flatly.

The leader looked concerned and glanced over to Mr. Friendly, "Did you make formal introductions without me?"

"Um no, remember you told us to help the pregnant lady, we sent Ethan in."

The leader slapped his forehead, "Ethan the guy with the hair fetish? Well, did he introduce himself nicely and explain the situation?" Mr. Friendly shrugged and the leader glanced over to Jack and the rest of the men.

Charlie's eye flashed with hatred, "He kidnapped Claire and hung me from a tree, and I would have to say no, he didn't introduce himself "nicely"."

'HE HUNG YOU FROM A TREE!" The leader yelled and the bearded man appeared to be equally shocked and horrified. "Were you hurt?"

"Um, I died." Charlie shifted his footing in the sand.

"JESUS CHRIST! That's horrible. I'm going to kick Ethan's ass." The Leader stomped his foot.

"Um, I shot him." Now Charlie was feeling very uncomfortable.

"Is he dead?" The leader asked, quietly. Charlie nodded. "Oh." The leader turned to the bearded man, "Is that effecting the civilization in any way?"

"Nope, everything is running smoothly."

"Well, Ethan was a douche anyway." The leader dismissed his fallen comrade. "Is there anything else that happened that I need to know about?" He glared at Mr. Friendly, who in turn sighed and told the leader about "Henry Gale" and Walt and Michael. Oh, and the bearded man admitted he shot Sawyer, which Sayid stated no one really held that against him

The leader pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well, this has been a giant cluster fuck, hasn't it?"

The leader scanned his eyes over the shore and watched the people pleasantly milling around. "Gee, did all the ugly people die in the plane crash?" he thought aloud. Even Jack smirked a little. The leader looked behind the men at the raft. "You guys trying to leave?" The men nodded, feeling guilty that they had assumed the worse of the Others and that everything had just be a break down of communication. "Did anyone tell you about the loophole?"

"Surely it has to apply to someone here? Charlie?" Mr. Friendly asked. Charlie kicked the sand and admitted why the loophole wouldn't work with him. Pity filled the Other man's eyes.

In the distance Kate and Claire were walking in the surf, laughing, talking and… "DEAR GOD! Are they splashing each other with water?" The leader's jaw dropped. All male eyes tracked the vision of two women playing in the water. There was a collective gulp and groan. The leader's eyes still on the women said, "You've got to get the hell off this island. Creatures like that would be wasted here. We'll give you a boat."

The men stood blinking for a few minutes trying to understand what just, but the two Other men walked back on the path. The leader asked the bearded man something once they were out of earshot. The leader's voice bellowed, "'She might interpret that we kidnapped her daughter,' well no wonder why she doesn't like us very much. That's it! No more puzzles for me."

The men looked back at the raft and back at the Others, their heads turning in unison like birds. "Um, did he say they're going to give us a boat?" Locke asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This chapter isn't as funny as the first but still it made me giggle. There is a Veronica Mars reference in here as well. Thank you, Thank you to everyone who read and left feedback. YOU ROCK!

* * *

Two days later the boat was delivered and docked on the shore. It wasn't a huge boat, but it was sea worthy for long distances The leader provided the Oceanic Flight 815 with coordinates and a radio. The sailors had to provide food and water. After a heated debate, it was decided that Jack, Sawyer, Sayid and Charlie would sail off the island, go to Japan, (Fiji was closer but better and safer supplies could be found in Japan) and obtain a larger boat and return to rescue everyone else.

Charlie was packing up his clothes in his backpack when he heard the soft crunch of footsteps on the sand. "Chahlie?" Her voice called out to him. His chest tightened, his stomach tingled and fire flowed up and down his face, it was always the same physical reaction when she called his name.

His voice was harsh, wounds still raw, "What, do you feel "indebted" to say goodbye?"

She clung to Aaron tightly, but turned away from Charlie's pained face. "I thought you would like to say goodbye to Aaron." She handed the baby over to Charlie. Her brain screamed, _'I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to seem as harsh as it sounded. Please let me apologize to you_.' But no words left her mouth as she watched Charlie make funny faces at Aaron.

"I've leaving something in the tent for you." He said, his voice was dark, but the goofy expressions were still on his face. "It's buried under my guitar, I'm not going to need it. Jack and Sayid are bringing theirs and Sawyer will never part with his. I just don't think it's a good idea for all of us to be armed. I've talked to Locke. If you want to learn how to use it, he'll show you."

He handed the baby back, her eyebrow creased, "You've giving me your gun? Why do you even have a gun?"

His eyes wrote the message, _'just because you stopped speaking to me, doesn't mean I stopped caring and trying to protect you_.' But instead he shrugged, "It makes me feel cool."

The salty wind blew, Claire shivered. Her brain cried, sobbed, '_Don't go, stay here, where I know you'll be safe.'_ Her mouth laughed, "you'll need more then just a gun to make you cool."

"So do you want me to pick you up anything?" He smiled. His mind whimpered, _'if you asked me to stay, as much as I want to, I couldn't. I want more from you, more then just friends. And since you don't feel the same way, I can't possibly risk it.'_

'_There's so much I have need to tell you_,' her soul wept. "The new Harry Potter book, if you can find it and some diapers for Aaron," her voice was light and airy.

"Well, see you in a week or two." Charlie waved, '_Goodbye_.'

Charlie boarded the ship, without glancing back to at the sanding beach. Claire tended to her whimpering child with her back with ocean; she just couldn't watch Charlie leave.

The first morning, she had forgotten. She woke up in her tent, which seemed empty and far too large since he left or more accurately she kicked him out. She fed Aaron, changed his soiled diaper and continued her morning rituals. She scanned the beach for him. The raft was still there, but no one was working on it. Her eyes glanced out to the water and it hit her like lightening, taking her breath away, Charlie was gone.

For two days she keep looking over her shoulder expecting him to be there. No one talked about the raft, or the reason the men had left.

On the third day Steve was rifling through Sawyer's stash. A cold metal round object pressed itself to the back of his head. An Australian ascent, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Claire?" Steve stammered.

"Answer my question." Her voice was ice like frost on glass, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting some…"

"You're stealing from Sawyer. He was pissed the last time you did that and he stole the guns." Her voice was harsh now, like her will and soul depended on her words. "They're coming back, Steve. They're coming back and he'll be pissed. Get the hell out of his tent."

Steven inched out the Sawyer's tent and walked off onto the beach. Had he turned around, he would have seen small tears dripping down her face. She repeated, "They're coming back."

Relations between the Others and the survivors were improving daily, well not daily, every other day. The Others maintained contact with the people on the boat via the radio and would give progress reports whenever they could. Of course, there was a solid day and a half walk between the two settlements; messages were often delayed.

Mr. Friendly came the first day, "Everything's fine. Mostly they keep talking about their favorite TV shows. They are all in agreement; _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ is their favorite show. There was a big debate over who was the hottest character, Buffy, Dru, Cordy or Willow. Then Charlie stated the only thing he didn't like about the show was everyone's stupid names. But other than that, they're doing great."

Comfort started to grow between the two groups and finally Claire worked up the nerve to ask the one question that had been plaguing her mind. She approached the man who often traveled with the bearded man, but not the leader (he was working on a crossword puzzle).

"Excuse me?" She inched towards him.

"Yeah." He looked around to see if she was talking to anyone else.

"I was wondering if you could tell me about the 'loophole?' I keep hearing rumors and whispers, but I don't know what it is." Claire smiled at her own admission of confusion.

The man thought it over for a second, "Oh, you mean the sex loophole, right?" He stated rather bluntly. Claire nodded and blushed. "Oh, well I thought that was kind of obvious." Claire waited for a response; her eyes pried him for an answer. He shrugged, "Its love. Big Love, not your run of the mill, gee I think you're cool, lets hook up love. But Big Love. I'd Die for You Love. I'd Kill for You Love. I'd Give Up Everything I Hold Dear for You Love. I'd Risk My Life For You Love."

Claire's eyes grew wide; her lungs became tight, knees weak. Her physical reaction to the news went unnoticed by the man, "Yeah, it only applied to one guy, that British guy, but he was pretty sure she didn't feel the same way. So he went off on the boat. It's a good thing he did, nothing really to do around here anyway. I mean, would you want to sit around staring at some chick that didn't give a shit about you?"

Claire's knees finally gave way and she fell to the ground. She started to hyperventilate, for as much air as she was breathing in, she still felt like she was choking and suffocating.

"Miss, are you ok?" The man asked, called to Hurley, "Help!"

Hurley rushed over as fast as he could, "Dude, you broke Claire."

She heaved and sobbed in Hurley's arms as he helped her back to the beach.

"It's all my fault." She kept repeating.

"Dude, I can relate." Hurley attempted to sooth.

Claire teetered on the edge of hope and despair. While on one hand she hoped and prayed for Charlie to return to her, the constant fear of the unknown and her imagination ate away at her hope. What she needed was hard evidence, facts. The only facts she knew for sure were he loved her and she was the reason he was on the boat. The facts didn't provide Claire with the piece of mind she needed.

Shortly after hearing the loophole, Claire stopped eating. Food tasted bitter and made her ill. She forced some mangos down only for Aaron's sake, but soon that too became too much labor for her.

On the fourth day Hurley brought Claire peanut butter, she looked at the plastic container and started to weep. "Crap, I broke Claire again."

Kate often came around to either distract Claire or comfort her, but she provided very little of either.

Jin and Sun took up the job of taking care of Aaron when Claire simply refused to move. Aaron and Claire grew weaker by the day. Jin brought her food and stared at her until watched her eat it until she was finished.

It was on the eighth day the Other's arrived with news, "They've found land! Jack's pretty sure its Japan." Once the news came, there was a collective sigh of relief from the entire island. Claire smiled for the first time since Charlie had sailed away.

She started eating again, laughing with Kate, helping Sun with her garden and tending to Aaron's every need. The glow that made her distinctly Claire started to come back.

Three days later, the Others announced Jack and the rest of the crew were leaving port and heading back.

She still ached for him. She started to pull his stuff from his tent and put in hers. It started off as simple things; she was cold and needed a sweatshirt. Charlie had left his hoodie behind and it seemed only natural that she should be the one to have it. It smelled like him, in a way it was like he was still holding her as he did so long ago. She was able to sleep better, since he was with her.

At night she would strum his guitar to lull Aaron to sleep. She could never make the instrument produce the same notes and sounds that Charlie had, but she needed to create some sort of connection.

Her thoughts constantly wandered towards him and she often wondered if he was thinking of her. She planned his arrival; what she would be wearing, what she would say, how he would react to her declarations. She would tease his mercilessly about anything she could think of and beg to have some quiet time to speak of their past and even more importantly, their future. Every time she thought of the phrase, 'their future" a tiny secret smile would cross her face.

* * *

Four days past before the Others arrive with news. Claire bounced excitedly when she saw them break from the forest tree line and onto the shore. But something was different. The Bearded Man and the Leader's heads were low. Locke was the first to greet them, a small crowd started to form around the men.

The leader cleared his throat. "The Weather services reported a white squall in the boat's approximate location." Claire felt the blood drain from her face. The leader's voice was dark. "We lost contact with them two days ago." He offered to share supplies and maybe the two colonies could join together, in the near future. "I am terribly sorry for your loss."

Denial is a powerful coping tool. Claire announced that just because they lost communication, it didn't mean they were coming back.

Still, she returned to old habits- her eating slowed down and she took to constantly wearing his shirts. Her days consisted of her watching the water and waiting for him to return. She vaguely remembered reading "The Odyssey" in high school and suddenly she could relate to Penelope's plight.

Jin returned to sitting in front of her and watching her eat. She felt like she was looking into a mirror when she was eating, except it was reflecting a mean looking Korean man instead of her. She was tired of his constant concern; didn't he have a wife he should be tending to? He only said two words to her, which she understood; "Eat" and he would offer the fish or fruit and "baby" which Claire assumed he had felt some level of responsibility to her and the baby. After all he was there when Aaron was born. Jin did like tending to Aaron; she figured it was practice for his own child.

Finally one day after being sick of his ever-present eye, she broke down and told him everything. "It really doesn't matter; you can't understand what I'm saying, anyway." She worked backwards from her current mood to when she and Charlie first met. She told Jin about her current feelings about Charlie, why they had fought, why it hurt so much when he lied, how much it must have hurt him when she finally returned to camp and couldn't remember him. Then she confessed, she remembered everything since the plane crash, vividly; she remembered the imaginary peanut butter, tea and "men bloody useless." She laughed through her tears.

Jin nodded and smiled when Claire did. He didn't say much but he was a great listener. He patted Claire on her knee, and said. "Loophole." And walked away.

Then it started to rain.

The rain soaked into her and Charlie's sweatshirt. It rained all night.

When the rain ended and everything dried, Charlie's scent was gone.

There were so many items on this island, luggage from the dead and unknown. Objects did not hold much meaning to Claire. But smells contained memories, memories she never wanted to forget.

Everything that was distinctly Charlie was gone, and with him, hope. Forgotten.

Claire spent a week sitting on the same spot, Charlie's rock, waiting from him to come home. Finally, she left her spot on the beach. Her bloodshot eyes and her physically drained body simply could not look at the water any more. She asked Sun to watch Aaron and told her she was heading to the Hatch, she need to be around "normal" things, a couch, books, a stove.

It was Hurley who heard the sound; it was like a swarm of bees traveling great distances. On this island, that wasn't beyond the realm of possibilities. The sound was coming from the water. Two parallel dots grew larger as they approached the beach. Jin was the first to recognize the objects, shouted something in Korean to Sun and sprinted into the jungle.

Sure enough two speedboats raced towards the shore. Toothy grins and waving hands spread the universal message, 'We're home." Sawyer and Sayid rode in the black speedboat and Jack and Charlie used the red one.

The shoreline was filled with people. Waving, screaming people let the surf splash up on them as the boats docked on the sand.

All the men were accounted for, looking happy, healthy and well tanned. Sawyer was the first to speak, "CHARLIE WAS ON A PORN!"

Charlie's ears grew wide and horrified, his ears turned red and burned. "Sawyer! You weren't supposed to say anything about that. Besides I don't think anyone really want to hear that story." He scanned the group, but the one person he was looking for wasn't there. Mentally he frowned.

Hurley blinked for a few seconds, "Dudes, you do have a bigger boat somewhere, right?"

Jack nodded blocking the sun from his eyes with his hand. "Yeah, we parked it on the wrong side of the island."

"I told you that wasn't our beach." Sayid hissed.

Once everyone understood they were in fact getting off the island, Locke answered, "Um I think I would like to hear the porn story."

Pleas came from the crowd even a few threats. Charlie rubbed his neck, "Look it isn't a big deal, I was writing some music for the director, and he lived in the flat across from me. I dropped the off the demos at the set, the director like it so much, called one of the girls over and she um, gave me a bonus." Charlie was grateful his mother had been buried for a while now and that Claire wasn't on the beach. "One of the actor's didn't show, so the director asked me to finish the scene. Look you can't even tell its me, you have to look really closely." He added in haste.

Sawyer announced proudly, "He's being modest. He's won awards!"

"For the music!" Charlie clarified.

"You won a Pornie? Congrats, Charlie." Bernard cheered then shrunk back when he saw Rose's disapproving face.

Jack smirked, "the first thing we're going to do when we get back to the mainland is rent your movie!"

Charlie's jaw dropped. "No!"

The always-calm Sayid, jumped off the boat into the water with a splash, "Don't worry, Charlie, we are not going to rent it."

"Thank god."

Sayid caught Sawyer's eye as he bellowed, "We're going to BUY it! Big screen TV and surround sound!"

* * *

Jin was out of breath by the time he reacted the Hatch. He kicked open the door and with his last bit of energy he found Claire in living area hugging one of the couch pillows. Mr. Eko watched her from a distance.

Jin huffed and puffed until he was able to say, "Charlie!"

Claire's head moved slowly, disbelief heavy on her face. "What?"

"Charlie back." His smile matched Claire's as she jumped to her feet.

* * *

Sawyer pointed to Jack, "So we spent the last few months eating nothing but fish and fruit, right? Guess what's the first thing Jack orders. Sushi!"

There was a collective groan and laughter from the crowd standing around on the beach. The men recounted their travels to the group, which turned out to be rather uneventful. During the trip back, the men watch bootleg copies of this new show called "_Veronica Mars_" and debated over who they thought killed Lilly Kane and which person the teenage sloth should end up with, Logan the spoiled rich kid with issues but a heart of gold or Duncan, the guy who could be her brother. Charlie stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"I'll tell you this much, Veronica replaced the void in my heart after Buffy left there." Jack smiled.

"Why did you lose radio contact?" Locke finally asked.

Sayid huffed and seemed to go on a tangent, "Charlie was the most valued member on this little operation, he knew how to sail a boat, he can read Japanese and he was the only one who thought about calling his credit card company to make sure his card was still active and hence how we were able to pay for everything."

"He also resented the temptation of the hottie receptionist" Sawyer mimicked the woman as he changed his voice and rubbed his hands all over his chest, "Is there ANYTHING I can do for you Mr. Pace? Anything at all?"

"She wasn't like that." Charlie rolled his eyes.

"No I would say that was fairly accurate representation of her." Jack agreed.

"And you STILL turned her down." Sawyer said in dismay, "You could have taken one for the team like I did. Hell, even I nailed that cute waitress." Sawyer really just wanted to see if the Island curse would follow him to the mainland. It didn't, which pleased him to no end. He called the waitress seven times just to check if she was alive.

Charlie didn't answer why he had turned down the sexual advances of some strange woman, but his eyes scanned the crowd hoping Claire had heard.

"UM the radio!" Locke reminded.

"We're getting to that. Charlie was the most useful, Jack, we should have thrown overboard." Sayid sighed exasperated, "He wrote the coordinates wrong- well not wrong but illegibly and no one could tell if the last number was an 8, 5, or a picture of a dog. He was also so upset when Logan's mother died he threw his beer and it soaked into the radio."

Jack shrugged, "We're on a boat, you would think more things would be waterproof."

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose, "You mean, we've been here assuming you were dead, and you've been getting drunk and watching TV?"

"Yep," Sawyer smirked.

Aaron started to fuss in Sun's arms until Charlie finally picked him up and started to make goofy grins and faces. "I got you so many great things, Turnip Head. A whole bunch of diapers, teething rings and my favorite book, "Good Night, Moon." He handed the child Sun, fearing the child's mother wrath.

Claire broke through the tree line and saw the boat. At this point Charlie was sitting on the edge of the boat, the water up to his knees, chatting with Locke and some of the other people. She sprinted lightly on the sand.

He saw her and couldn't resist his smile. She bit her lower lip, her eyes slowly making their way from his chest, to neck, to his lips and finally she was lost on the grayness of his eyes. "You're late." She finally managed to say.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to find the newest Harry Potter book in English! We were in Japan." He rolled his eyes.

It could have been the wave of the ocean or her need to touch him to know he was real, but her lips were firmly planted on his. Before he could fight it, he wrapped his arms around her waist and he tasted the salt on lips. She was everything he had dreamed, he was everything she wanted.

Jack turned his head from Kate and screamed, "AHHHH!" And pulled Charlie off of Claire to both of their surprise. Sawyer and Sayid turned their heads to see the couple torn apart from their embrace.

"Charlie I can't believe you would endanger the mission." Jack hissed at his friend. He screamed out to the island, "THEY MEANT IT IN A PURELY PLANONIC WAY CRAZY ISLAND COCK BLOCKING GODS!" He called over to his other two travelers, "we're on a Code C!"

Charlie pulled Claire onto the boat. "I'm sorry Jack, she's just so… God… I mean look at her." He pointed to Claire as if offering proof.

Sawyer and Sayid ran up to the beach and quickly gathered Claire, Aaron's and Charlie's items.

"Where's his stuff?" Sawyer called.

"It's all here!" Sayid bellowed from Claire's tent.

"30 second guys!" Jack called out as he pulled Aaron from Sun's arms and handed him over to Claire.

She looked confused at the men, scurrying on the beach and back at Charlie who's head was in his hands filled with shame. 'What's going on, Chahlie?"

"I kissed you and I didn't risk my life just to have this crazy island kill you. God I can't believe I did this!" He moaned.

Her eyes searched him, "but we're the loophole."

He shook his head, "No I'm the loophole."

She placed her hand on his shoulder, until he looked up at her, "I'm the loophole too."

"Really?" He reached up to brush the stray hair off her face.

She nodded and stroked his neck with her thumb.

Sayid threw their clothes at them, "Stop touching her!"

"But, we're the loophole!" Charlie tried to explain.

Jack waved his hand to dismiss the idea, "That's great I'm really happy for you, both of you. But I don't want to risk it. Get the hell off the island, move the yacht closer and don't touch her until we get to Japan, I don't want the boat sinking because you couldn't keep it in your pants." He shook his finger at Charlie. Jack turned the everyone else on the beach, "That goes for everyone else as well!"

Kate rolled her eyes, 'Gee Jack, paranoid much?"

"Better to be safe then sorry, what part of sex equals death don't you get?" Sawyer yelled. You would think you'd be a little grateful! Or you would help in some way."

Kate threw her arms up in the air, "I tried to help build the raft, but you guys yelled at me when I bent over to pick up plank and told me to stop being sexy. Then you kicked me out! Or did you forget?"

Sawyer and Jack made quick eye contact. "Sorry we forgot."

Charlie started the motor to the boat and sailed away from the beach. Behind he left the only place he found redemption, happiness and love, moved closer to his future.


End file.
